How Vicious We Are

the alleyways that fill me with terror
are picnics when it's a sunny day
they lead to a perfect place
to write sketches - at a snail's pace

prepared to say that we made an error
and laughing at our ability
to talk so offensively
but it's done so diplomatically

how vicious we are
and we wouldn't put up with
bogus films in our cinema
how vicious we are
and we wouldn't put up with
tasteless food in our restaurant

so let's go out it would be a pleasure
and i'll try not to be menacing
if you promise not to bring
the kind of moods that tend to swing

and then we go and get drunk together
and cos i'm not dressed so casually
you say "don't stand so close to me"
but there's nowhere else i'd rather be

how vicious we are
and we wouldn't put up with
rubbish left in our rental car
how vicious we are
and we wouldn't put up with
english tea in our samovar

how vicious we are
and we wouldn't put up with
loutish youths in our spanish bar
as cool as you are
i hope that you're taking
careful notes at this seminar