It's Not Me, It's You

it's not me, it's you
oh, you and i should have a talk
we used to be like knife and fork
but now we're more like pizza and glue

you're not the one i used to know
because you irritate me so
i'd like to turn that cliche around
and tell you that it's not me, it's you

look, in my quest for common ground
i've turned the bedroom upside down
and, frankly, most of the living room too
i've made you gifts and bought you flowers
and i've waited up for you for hours
you say my worrying is making it worse

but no, honey it's not me, it's you

then, suddenly!
remembering how we'd delight
in visiting the isle of wight
the stark terrain, torrential rain,
and hours waiting for a train
but i'm sorry, no, it's over
i'm leaving now - and this is why:

you're an uncouth, useless slob
who can't hold down a steady job
and you've got the nerve to sit there and cry
no, honestly, it's not me, it's you



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