I Need A Career

I need a career that’s going to make me feel a little better
I need a career, I know I’ve said it before
It’s got to be original, it’s got to be worthwhile
I need a career
I tell you, the location doesn’t matter
I need a career, I can’t take any more
It’s got to be sensational, but strictly 9 to 5
Oh, I need a career
Before my life slips by
Cos I’ve tried:

Shrinkwrapping ties, teaching kids to ride a bike –
(but that made no money)
then shovelling fries – painting lots of kitchens white –
(and that wasn’t funny, no)

I need a career
I want an office and I want a forward planner
I need a career, I know I’m being a bore
I want to wear a uniform, I want to trawl through files
I need a career where people see that I’m a lovely fella
I need a career, I’m always being ignored
But I’m full of motivation, I’m an enthusiastic guy
I need a career
Before my life slips by
So, I’ve tried:

Deep filling pies, endless CCTV nights,
(but that made no money)
then unzipping flies and doing things to filthy guys
(and that wasn’t funny, no)

I need a career
that’s going to make me feel a little better
I need a career
I tell you, the location doesn’t matter
I need a career
where people see that I’m a lovely fella
I need a career, please don’t show me the door
I need a career, something I’ve never done before

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